Christian Love: Emotion or Act?

I want to show that Christian love is essentially an intended act of the will.  This may not seem obvious at first, because our culture often identifies love with emotion.  In order to clarify, I will begin with an analysis of love in general, and then I will move to a consideration of Christian love in particular.

Concerning Love:

In our culture love is often identified with a particular emotion generally called "love."  In other words, the common assumption is that love is essentially "the way one feels about another."  Of course this emotion is considered both positive and intense.  That being the case, "love" is essentially a positive and intense feeling one has for another.  What do I mean by "essentially"?  To say that love is essentially an emotion is to say that without this emotion love is not.  Or...take away all that is related to love, except what is necessary, and an emotion generally called "love" will remain.  In order to show that this understanding is mistaken I want us to assume that love is essentially an emotion, or "the way one feels about another."

Consider those individuals you love: a spouse, a significant other, parents, children, close friends, etc.  Let's assume that love is an emotion.  Now, we all know that we often feel various emotions in relation to those we love.  I love my wife, but it is sometimes the case that I feel various emotions in relation to her other than the emotion generally called "love."  For instance, I may at one time or another have feelings of frustration and anger towards her (of course this never actually happens, but let us assume so:).  Now, I would argue that I always love my wife.  That is, it is not the case that at 8:00AM I love my wife, but at 9:00PM I do not.  Again, it is not the case that I love her on Monday, but I do not love her on Wednesday.  In other words, I love my wife every day, and every minute of the day: always.  However, if love is an emotion, then it is not the case that I love my wife always.  If love is the way I feel, then I only love my wife when I feel that particular emotion generally called "love."  When I am feeling anger or frustration towards her, then I do not love her at that moment because I do not, at that moment, have the feeling generally identified with love.

If love is essentially an emotion, then we only love others when we are feeling that particular emotion called "love."  Hence, we can never claim to always love another, unless it is the case that our feelings toward the other is always the feeling generally called "love."  When we become angry, sad, hurt,or frustrated at the one we say we love, we do not actually love that individual at that time because we are feeling something other than the feeling generally called "love."  I believe most people can see the absurdity that this understanding of love implies.  We all have those people that we claim to love all of the time.  I love my wife all of the time regardless of what emotion I may be feeling at any particular time.

So what is love?  Let me first say that although love is not essentially an emotion, love is often attended by the emotion generally called "love."  We all have experienced this emotion.  So...I am not saying that love is not often accompanied by emotion.  I often have strong emotions towards my wife that are generally associated with love.  Nonetheless, love is not essentially this emotion.  Of course, we need not limit this understanding to love between "couples."  We have strong emotional feelings towards parents, children, and friends that we associate with love.  However, to say that emotions may be associated with love is not to say that love is essentially an emotion or feeling.  So what is love, essentially.

Love is essentially an intention of the will that expresses itself in particular acts.  Again, love is an intention of the will which is directed towards securing what is best for the one loved.  Or again, love is an intention to act in such a way that the best interest of the one loved is obtained.  I love my wife in that I want what is best for her, and this love is expressed in particular acts that seek to obtain for her what is in her best interest.  In this way, I can say that I always love my wife.  I may not be acting in any particular way that clearly expresses this intention (say when I am sleeping, driving alone in my truck, or feeding my chickens), but I always intend what is in her best interest (this the case even when I inadvertently fail to act in a way which expresses this intention...say, when I accidentally step on her toe).

Again, it is important to note that this understanding of love (as an intention of the will that expresses itself in particular acts) may or may not be attended by emotions.  The way I feel about another person varies, but if I love that person I will always intend for them to have that which is in her/his best interest.   

Concerning Christian Love:
I have often heard Christians complain that they find it hard to love everyone.  "How am I to love someone who hurts me or others?"  "I know I am commanded to love others as myself, but I cannot simply make myself love someone that I do not in fact love."  These complaints (and those related to them) are often associated with an understanding of love that is identified with an emotion.  In this way the complaint seems to be, "How can I feel love towards someone I do not feel love towards?  How do I make myself feel love towards this person?"

Jesus asks Peter, "Do you love me"  Peter says, "You know I love you."  Jesus replies, "Then feed my sheep."  Notice that Jesus says, "Then feed my sheep," not "Make sure you have a lot of warm fuzzy feelings about my sheep."  Nowhere in scripture will it be found that love is about how we feel.  Love is always associated with how we act toward others, not with how we feel toward others.

Jesus simplified his command about how we are to love others as "You shall love your neighbor as yourself" (Matt. 22:39b).  I may not always have warm fuzzy feelings about myself, but I always seek what I believe to be in my best interest.  To love others as I love myself, is to seek the best interests of others as I seek the best interest for myself.

Imagine your worst enemy comes to you dying of thirst.  It is impossible for you to have warm fuzzy feelings about this person.  Nonetheless, if you give that individual a glass of water, you are acting in Christian love regardless of your inability to conjure of feelings associated with love.

Let's approach this from another angle.  Christians are fond of saying, "Love the sinner, and hate the sin."  If we identify love with an emotion, then it is easy to sit back and say, "I love so-and-so" without really having any contact with that individual.  In fact, under this understanding of love, it is easy to isolate that "sinner" from our lives and yet feel justified in having "loved."  This is not the case if love is intending to act in the best interest for that person.  If I really intend the best interest for that person, then I will have to act (or I do not really have that intention).  If I really intend the best for that person, and if it is in my power to act, then I will have to involve that "sinner" in my life even if I hate the sin (so to speak).  This is when it gets down and dirty...Jesus would be very proud.

Christian love is expressed in acts based on the good we intend to obtain for the "other."  Many people in our culture despise Christians because of what we say.  Those who despise could say nothing if they could see what we do (Matthew 5:16).